Tumblr (3.0; @beccatobin)http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/d7c2b02e62919e648ac5feaee0e20d1f/tumblr_mlzjarQ11w1rd4yfpo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/49179496367http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/49179496367Mon, 29 Apr 2013 10:37:57 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/b41d3eecf000f3349ff542f5f0465790/tumblr_mhtz5y20xn1rnpjyso1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/49179233947http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/49179233947Mon, 29 Apr 2013 10:32:01 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/cdaad8870fc2baa908cebfd77493d009/tumblr_mlzym3vGnJ1rnpjyso1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Give me</p>http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/49153516328http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/49153516328Sun, 28 Apr 2013 23:31:48 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/2b758af4f978e8882e1061a1060d233f/tumblr_mlzyxqkhTd1r64do2o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/49153269509http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/49153269509Sun, 28 Apr 2013 23:28:25 -0400<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/fd285ef9a890195e99a3abbf99027c17/tumblr_mlzydk3O1w1qb0ufno1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/49153172867http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/49153172867Sun, 28 Apr 2013 23:27:06 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/57274279d1808a43cfd189f3cfb02e94/tumblr_mlzykmpS8o1r4pvzuo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/49153149806http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/49153149806Sun, 28 Apr 2013 23:26:47 -0400<p>On tumblr for the first time in months. <br/><br/>Oh man how i&#8217;ve missed it. </p>http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/49153012220http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/49153012220Sun, 28 Apr 2013 23:24:55 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/62f05cfb595014ea9eed1847280602e1/tumblr_mlzvo2SOpp1s20kslo1_500.png"/><br/><br/>http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/49149316398http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/49149316398Sun, 28 Apr 2013 22:38:13 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/02f481bfacc813fa15f660ff6b06bb45/tumblr_mfr59tfDAB1qfji2jo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/39970234104http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/39970234104Mon, 07 Jan 2013 19:46:54 -0500<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lk3wbyWwYm1qax8g2o1_500.png"/><br/><br/>http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/39912144348http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/39912144348Mon, 07 Jan 2013 01:23:00 -0500<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/21e701373b76d1a862c0ed596f571812/tumblr_mg7wk1oK7y1rslfxoo1_500.png"/><br/><br/>http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/39854715421http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/39854715421Sun, 06 Jan 2013 14:04:03 -0500<iframe src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F2184958&liking=false&sharing=false&origin=tumblr" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" class="soundcloud_audio_player" width="500" height="116"></iframe><br/><br/><p>My favorite hymn. </p>http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/39818727196http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/39818727196Sun, 06 Jan 2013 01:57:56 -0500<p>Saying it&#8217;s been awhile since I have written is quite the understatement. <br/><br/><br/>You know - normally i&#8217;m really comfortable with getting more personal in my blogs about my life. I actually really like it. I always have a lot of thoughts in my head and sometimes I don&#8217;t know how to really slow them down and when I would write about them it was like an outlet. I knew people would read it, but I never knew who so it didn&#8217;t really bother me. <br/><br/><br/>It&#8217;s been a really long time since I have sat down and written anything about myself.</p> <p>I think that&#8217;s because I try really hard not to think too much about it all. And that I have a lot of people who ask me how i&#8217;ve been and if things are better and if i&#8217;m okay now. And I never want to talk about it. Ever.<br/> And that surprises me because I have always been one to believe that holding in your feelings and ignoring whats in front of you and what&#8217;s happening in your life is a really really bad thing. But I guess when you reach a low that&#8217;s so new to anything you&#8217;ve ever experienced you second guess those beliefs. When people ask you how you&#8217;ve been you just want to make that conversation as short as possible.<br/><br/><br/><br/>So i&#8217;ll tell you, anonymous person who is reading this. <br/>Personal has been kind of a difficult area for me to face lately. <br/>It&#8217;s been 3 months that i&#8217;ve been really sad. <br/>I moved home because that sadness got bad. And I had to do the healthy thing. And the smart thing. And I had to remove myself from everything that was making me sad. <br/>I have been home for 2 months. And i&#8217;ve learned that you can&#8217;t run away from the things that make you sad. <br/>Removing myself from them helped a lot. And compared to 3 months ago i&#8217;m better.<br/>But I still have a lot of healing to do. And i&#8217;m tired of being sad and i&#8217;m tired of being numb a lot of the time. <br/>But people go through this right? People go through these phases in life where things fall apart. Where they become content with being sad. And they learn to live with it. But here is the problem - i&#8217;m not content with being content with that.<br/>Things are going to change though, aren&#8217;t they? I mean people go through this, right?<br/><br/>I&#8217;m going back to the place I had to leave to get better in a little over a week and i&#8217;m scared. <br/>I have to trust the God that I haven&#8217;t felt in awhile is going to take care of me. Little glimpses of him in my life from time to time help me think of that. <br/>I have to believe that. I have to get to that place where I believe that with everything I have. And I have been trying to get to that place. 3 months and counting. I&#8217;ve been trying so hard. And i&#8217;m tired of trying. I&#8217;m so tired. I don&#8217;t want to have to try anymore. I just want to feel it. But people go through this right? <br/><br/><br/>I&#8217;m still here and i&#8217;m not going to give up. I&#8217;m going to get to a place where I feel full again. I&#8217;m tired but I won&#8217;t stop. I&#8217;m going back in a week. I&#8217;m going to be okay. He promises that to me. I&#8217;m sorry I don&#8217;t believe that right now. I really want to. But I trust you. I have to trust you. I&#8217;ll never not trust you. <br/><br/><br/>I&#8217;ll be okay. All in time. <br/>All in time.  </p>http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/39816678372http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/39816678372Sun, 06 Jan 2013 01:28:02 -0500<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_md4y4nJmaw1rrpf77o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/39812086417http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/39812086417Sun, 06 Jan 2013 00:28:51 -0500<iframe class="tumblr_audio_player tumblr_audio_player_39645294914" src="http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/39645294914/audio_player_iframe/beccatobin/tumblr_mftl2uOzp41qigwxi?audio_file=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tumblr.com%2Faudio_file%2Fbeccatobin%2F39645294914%2Ftumblr_mftl2uOzp41qigwxi" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" scrolling="no" width="500" height="169"></iframe><br/><br/><p>Calm.</p>http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/39645294914http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/39645294914Fri, 04 Jan 2013 03:54:43 -0500<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7r5mjy1nf1qe5nqyo1_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7r5mjy1nf1qe5nqyo2_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7r5mjy1nf1qe5nqyo3_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7r5mjy1nf1qe5nqyo13_r1_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/>http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/39645164404http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/39645164404Fri, 04 Jan 2013 03:51:10 -0500<p>I think it&#8217;s because what I would write about is the same as what i&#8217;ve been feeling a lot lately.</p> <p>Nothing.</p>http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/39645041041http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/39645041041Fri, 04 Jan 2013 03:47:56 -0500<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/ae613386d5b3eed76e01d43c6312e21b/tumblr_mg0g363IlZ1rh1wv4o1_500.gif"/><br/><br/>http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/39644859045http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/39644859045Fri, 04 Jan 2013 03:43:14 -0500<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/c9ccac5a6ab6a0e936de0eebf637a512/tumblr_mfe7jz1rXu1rx42aao1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/38654348217http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/38654348217Sun, 23 Dec 2012 16:23:38 -0500<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mb0igsdxg01qjvnc4o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/38653999869http://beccatobin.tumblr.com/post/38653999869Sun, 23 Dec 2012 16:19:05 -0500